Category: Marriage & Family (page 2 of 3)
Perfect song for Christmas day!
I found this article on June Fuentes’ original blog and thought it was a good one. You will find the link to that blog at the bottom of the following excerpt.
Her updated blog is AWiseWomanBuildsHerHome.com
Mothers, Don’t Give Up On Your Difficult Child:
Yes, you know the one–that child came to mind as soon as you saw the title of this post.
You have been praying over that child a loooong time, crying out to God for wisdom. Crying out to God to even help you deal with it all.
I am here to remind you not to give up on that special child. God has a perfect plan for that child. And God has a perfect plan for you too.
You see, He uses challenges in parenting to draw you closer to Him. To stretch you. To refine you. To cause you to see your weak spots. To remind you that you cannot do it without Him. To draw you to become more…. holy.
Read the rest here.
I had to laugh last night while I was in the process of making Christmas cookies.
First of all, my kitchen (and my house) is small so it’s a challenge to move all the normal things on the kitchen counters off so you have room to do things like roll out and decorate cookies. Plus finding space to set up the cooling racks. I’m not complaining, but it really can be a bit nerve racking to find somewhere to go with everything, sometimes for a few days while you make mounds of cookies!
And this year we have the puppy so I can’t put the crock full of cooking utensils over in the corner on the floor, unless I want to find them all over the house with bite marks in them!
When I was growing up (and even now), my mother never decorated a cookie with icing like you see in the magazines. She grew up on a farm and there simply wasn’t money or time for such things. Plus, my mother is not really crafty so she had no interest in even trying.
My girls and I tried once or twice when they were little, but I found that not only did they never look like the store-bought ones or the ones in magazines, but once you stored them stacked in a container (even with waxed paper between), they just didn’t look the same and it was a big disappointment. Growing up we just simply used sprinkles and that’s the way I choose to make them too. Nice and simple.
So today I had rolled out, cut out, and decorated the cookies with sprinkles and I was so excited because I LOVE cut out sugar cookies, when I took a moment to survey my creations as I was putting them in the oven, and I had to chuckle.
Here were these simple cut-out cookies, made from my beloved grandmother’s sugar cookie recipe, sitting among the mess of excess sprinkles strewn all over my scratched up cookie sheets, in my little kitchen that was a wreck, and I couldn’t be happier or more excited! It didn’t matter that they didn’t look like the cookies on Pinterest, or that I’ve had my cookie sheets for years and they were scratched up. Who cares?!
I love my grandmother’s Christmas cookies, I love my little house, I love ALL our animals, I love ALL my family and I love Jesus!
And I am GRATEFUL and CONTENT!
During this busy holiday season, don’t forget to wish someone a Merry Christmas, and be grateful for ALL the little things you have!
Years ago when my children were young and we homeschooled, our church allowed any homeschooling members to use their gym on Friday’s for about 2 hours. Not many families availed themselves of the opportunity but it was a nice small group and we usually stayed after for a packed lunch and fellowship.
I was struggling significantly at that time with chronic illness, fibromyalgia/arthritis, anxiety, extreme insecurity, and what I like to call extreme discouragement. My self-talk was terrible and I didn’t think I could do anything right (I hadn’t yet learned who I was in Christ). Plus, I am surrounded by many critical people and that wears on you after awhile and makes you second guess yourself, which adds to the insecurity.
But I knew God had placed in me a strong vision for homeschooling and I was doing my best to walk the vision out in faith.
It was one day after we had enjoyed our play time that I was driving home and I had the longest conversation with the Lord that I have ever had. It went something like this…
“Lord?! Did you see how relaxed Wanda was with her children? And she was talking about how well her daughter was reading? And how quiet they were?!? My children couldn’t be quiet if their lives depended on it. I’m following Your leading and learning about disaster preparedness and end-time Bible prophecy and trying to faithfully prepare them to be ready for anything including being quiet in order to save their lives. And I’m getting nowhere!
And did you see how respectful her children were to her? Your Word says we’re to teach our children to honor their parents so they may enjoy long life. (Eph 6:2-3). Father, I feel like such a failure…
And her reading! Did you hear how far along her daughter is in her reading? I know you gave me a strong teaching gift, but Lord, something just isn’t working. I’m missing something, but I don’t know what. Everyone else sees our oldest is behind in her reading, and because of it no one sees all the other things we’re accomplishing. Maybe everyone is right and I shouldn’t be homeschooling, but I know you want them home Lord. I know it. What am I missing?! (We did not yet know we were in the learning disabilities realm). Help me to block out everyone else and only hear Your voice.
And Sue. Did you hear how she was explaining her math lessons? It was so on point and detailed. And her daughter was getting it! But I know You led me to the curriculum we’re using. It’s very God centered curriculum.
Lord…
I am such a failure. I am ruining my children. I must not know how to hear from You. I can’t do anything right. I’m not ever going to feel well and I’m not ever going to achieve all I believe You want me to. I am such a failure…”
And I just wanted to pull over to the side of the road and bawl.
And then the Lord’s response went something like this…
Daughter,
First of all, Wanda has a totally different personality than you. And she has a totally different type of husband. And she has no health issues like you are facing. And she has a girl and a boy, a TOTALLY different dynamic than what you are dealing with.
And Sue? She feels at least as bad as you do physically and then some, but she has a teaching degree. She knows techniques that you don’t know.
And besides, I didn’t tell you to teach reading first. I told you to teach character building first.
Sigh…
I felt so comforted. Like Abba, my Heavenly Father, was right there beside me, walking with me, holding me. And He was. And He still is. Instilling His vision for my life. Leading, guiding, directing.
It’s important to remember that we are on a journey. Each homeschool, each family, is unique. God knows EXACTLY what your family needs. Hone your listening skills and listen to the Lord first. Try to teach your children those skills as well.
Don’t compare yourself to anyone. Rest in the Lord, and learn to home educate from that position of rest.
I always said I’d rather have children whose hearts belonged to Jesus and their parents, and who were filled with common sense and good character, than children with straight A’s. Homeschooling is about relationships first. Relationships with each other and with the Lord. And then academics.
And I always sensed that when I was doing what Jesus wanted me to do, there was a deep sense of peace. It was one of the ways He was teaching me to know His voice and His leading.
Trust your instincts Mama, and stop the negative self-talk. And remember, you were hand-picked by God to be your child’s mother.
When we homeschooled I had the privilege of arranging my outings in the winter around bad weather. I absolutely love snow storms but I’m really not comfortable driving in snow and slush.
Now that I work part-time I can usually work around the storms but two winters ago I got stuck out and had to make my way home in rush hour traffic at the beginning of a nor’easter.
I was apprehensive but it was an opportunity to pray moment-by-moment and practice staying in peace before the Lord.
And it was so BEAUTIFUL! It was worth it!
I have no idea why but I was thinking about my grandparents and their dairy farm. The barn was quite a distance from the house. Since I’m always thinking about disaster preparedness and rehearsing scenarios in my head I thought, “How in the world did Granddaddy manage to make it to the barn and back? Did he attach a plow to the tractor and position it outside the back door? Did he just sleep in the barn with the cows? Did Grandma join him or stay at the house so she could keep the wood stove going?”
So I called my mother and posed these questions to her (hands-free driving, of course!).
“No, Granddaddy didn’t sleep in the barn with the cows, and he didn’t attach a plow to the tractor, he shoveled to the barn and back!”
Every time?! Every time.
No matter how deep the snow?! No matter how deep the snow.
“Because the cows had to be milked, twice a day, no matter what.”
I was shocked! The enormity of that task alone caused me to gasp. I’m not a good judge of distance but we’re talking a good 100 yards or more from the house to the barn! He then had to milk the cows! And possibly shovel back!!
But what she told me next totally floored me:
“I remember going out and helping Daddy shovel all the way out the lane to the road. The milk truck HAD to come collect the milk! So we shoveled from the house out through the “driveway” parking area to the lane, then all the way out the lane to the road, then come back past the “driveway” area and shovel to the barn so the milk truck could get the milk.”
Dear reader, just from the parking area by the house to the road HAS to be at least a quarter of a mile, THEN a hundred yards to the barn! And the lane had a big dip in it so they had to shovel UPHILL for part of it. And we’re talking about shoveling a path wide enough to accommodate a big truck for hauling milk!
Mom couldn’t recall if they had to shovel the barnyard area widely enough for the truck to turn around but even if they didn’t, that was an ENORMOUS task! And she was a child!
She said that anyone who was at the house pitched in to help, but she remembers at least one occasion when she and her daddy did it themselves.
I simply couldn’t believe it.
Mother, did you complain?! Listen to this…
“Oh my no! It had to be done. The milk had to go!”
Can you imagine? I can’t even imagine.
As part of my character-building training, God has been revealing to me my propensity to complain. After having this conversation with my mother I’ve been focusing on doing my various chores and fulfilling my responsibilities without complaining, such as cleaning cat litters, folding laundry, shoveling the driveway, walking the dog, cleaning up after dog and cat accidents (lots of opportunities to practice there!), cleaning up the kitchen again, etc.
I keep being reminded of the stock I come from, and I’m challenged to come up higher in my walk with Jesus.
I want to end this post with a few of my favorite winter photos, and please be sure to check out the links below the photos to other articles you may also like. I think I’ll go make some hot chocolate… ; )
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“Farmer” Dodge Ram Trucks Commercial by Paul Harvey
The Curse Of Murmuring And Complaining
Now that’s a loaded question! And that was the question I was asked this morning by my oldest daughter.
She has gotten a puppy named Greyson. And since she’s still living at home, that means we ALL have gotten a puppy named Greyson!
And it has absolutely been a team effort! We can’t imagine life without him but oh my is he a handful!
Going back to the question ~ did I ever tire of taking care of my children?
You’re asking a mom who has struggled with chronic fatigue??
Here is my answer:
I tired from the physical load it placed on my already tired body, and I tired of all the arguing and complaining and the physical and mental load that placed on my body, but I never tire of being a mother and being with my children, and molding and shaping their character to reflect Jesus, as I’m learning to do the same.
Never.
And if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t hesitate for a moment to have exactly my children at exactly the time I did, because it was God’s timing. It has been a faith walk and it has been worth every moment!
However…
I wish I had known when my children were young many of the techniques I know now. It would have eased the load and saved much anguish in the home.
When she asked me the question, I knew it was a perfect time to share two videos from Michelle Duggar that I have learned from and have been wanting to share.
Here’s the question I ask people when I show them the first video…
“As you watch this video, how long does it take until you start feeling anxious?”
My daughter said she started feeling anxious immediately!
When I first saw it, I started feeling stressed about 20 seconds into it. I can now watch the entire video without any stress and can marvel at how Mrs. Duggar manages to maintain that countenance all day, every day, for years. I know she isn’t perfect, but she is amazing! She truly has a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Pt 3:4). This video has helped me to stay calm and “go flat-line” when dealing with a difficult child.
The Duggars – Duggar Discipline Outtakes:
Michelle’s Take: Keeping Calm:
A couple of years ago I was counseling a young man that I had become close to (in an appropriate, motherly way, of course). We had met for breakfast and he knows how much I love the Lord so he was opening up about some of his personal struggles.
As he was grasping for the words to explain a certain matter to me he just blurted out, “Miss Sheri, I struggle so much with lust!”
Wow.
I didn’t see that coming.
As he continued to tell me how he views women and how his co-workers and non-christian friends encourage this type of behavior, I was silently taking a deep breath and seeking God for the right response.
I began to explain yet again to him how every young lady he lusts after is another man’s wife. Even if she is “The One,” lusting after her is not honoring her as a whole woman. As a woman created in the image of God. As a daughter of the King.
I admonished him, when he saw ANY young lady, to pray:
Lord, help me not to do ANYTHING that would cause that young lady to sin.
And I lift up her future husband and future marriage to you,
that you would bless them and draw them to each other,
and to Yourself,
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Since that conversation I have discovered the following three videos by Dr Doug Weiss. I’ve seen him on several tv programs and YouTube videos and he is very good.
His websites are:
SexAddict.com
DrDougWeiss.com
DrDougWeiss.org
IntimacyAnorexia.com
Doug Weiss on YouTube
In the first video you will be introduced to the idea of the “Holy Hologram.” You may need to listen to this a few times to really “get it.”
Please pray for this young man, and ANY man you know for that matter. Many are struggling, especially in our sex-saturated culture.
Clean: The DVD (Sneak Peak):
Porn And The Brain:
Dirty World Declared:
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This post is for the If I Had A Son Series.
I recently came across statistics that revealed that 2 out of every 3 men view porn online at least once a week.
One out of 3 believe they are addicted.
Those are sobering statistics. Considering that I have 3 daughters, and one day will have 3 sons-in-law, that means statistically 1 or 2 of my daughters will have to deal with these ugly monsters called pornography and/or porn addiction.
Men are 543% more likely to look at porn than females.
Even Christian homes are feeling the effects of porn. You can view an article at the Huffington Post here.
I understand from previous research that the male mind thinks a sexual thought every 7 seconds. I remember one book in which the author’s wife was utterly appalled when she read the draft of his book! I’m appalled too, but it’s important to understand that men really are wired differently that women. That’s why it’s vitally important for women to consider their own conduct as well.
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust
after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.
Matthew 5:28KJV
I’ve heard talk of men “bouncing” their eyes in order to keep their minds pure. Growing up hearing from men the old saying, “You can look but you can’t touch,” and seeing filthy calendars occasionally lining garage walls and workshops, I find the idea that a man would actually honor God, his wife, and his marriage by bouncing his eyes quite impressive!
I wish that kind of God-fearing character for my future sons.
There are so many books, videos, and resources available today that no man (or woman, for that matter) needs to fight the battle alone.
Here are a list of books I have read at least a portion of:
Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
Every Young Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
Clean by Dr. Doug Weiss
Not Even A Hint by Joshua Harris
And for the women:
Every Woman’s Battle
Every Young Woman’s Battle
Dr Doug Weiss resources:
DrDougWeiss.com
DrDougWeiss.org
Dr Weiss On YouTube
Our church participates with Celebrate Recovery.
And that’s just for starters. There are many more resources available. Search out God-honoring material for lasting purity.
Check out CovenantEyes.com for computer and device protection or sign up through Dr Doug’s website here.
And here is a excerpt from an episode of the Bates Family’s Bringing Up Bates on UPTV where they visit the ocean. Note Nathan Bates as he says, “Our parents always try to encourage us to guard your eyes, someday your wife will appreciate it.”
So true, so true.
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My maternal grandparents were dairy farmers. The older I get and the more responsibilities of home ownership that come (and the more animals we get!), the more I appreciate how hard they worked.
They would go to bed at 11:00pm after milking the cows, only to get up at 3:00am to do it all over again.
Every day.
For years.
No vacation.
No break.
The whole farm revolved around growing food for the cows. As well as crops for selling. Not to mention the large garden that was tended with the rewards ending up in the dirt floor root cellar. Then when my mother was 9, my grandmother started working at a job off the farm too.
Not only do I think of my hard-working grandparents when I listen to the following commercial, I also remember Paul Harvey. My husband and I would listen to his Rest of the Story broadcasts nearly every day. I’m getting choked up just writing this post. His voice was so distinctive.
And he always advertised Smart Balance butter spread. My husband and I loved it on crackers. (A very cheap snack, I might add!) Every time I hear his voice I want Smart Balance crackers. Funny how that works, isn’t it?
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